Like a flat highway in New Mexico,
All the people I’ve met and loved blur together.
The memories of being here and being there are haunting,
And I keep running into the same kind of people where ever I go,
Only to be caught up in clandestine kindness and remember a fresh face for the next round.
God, I keep running because I have to,
And it’s a long time before I find a place of peace off the ground,
And all of my friends run together into the same,
I can’t remember where one person ends and another (with similar traits) begins,
Here, there, everywhere,
I’m disoriented because traveling only makes the world blur together.
God, I wonder how you see it. How you see us. I feel so far from home sometimes. It’s like I’m running down a long highway and I can’t tell whether it’s reality in front of me and another mirage.
Be here, Lord. Be the grace I can’t answer.
I still have so much life to live, but all my friends feel essentially the same. I have to move on and find new ones in new places, but they are all like a reflection of your love. Finding you in every new place is disorienting. My reality is a melting ice cube.
Please be my strength when I don’t feel like fighting. These days, I just see the illusion. It’s hard to know where you’re at. It’s hard to know how to let go so that I can be found.
I wish there were a quicker way. I wish my path were more obvious.
But I look out, and I see a long and skinny road blurring off into the distance, a mirage. And God be my guide, because I have no idea where you’re leading me.
I want to believe that I’ll find the same beauty everywhere. God bless your holy name.