God is helping me accept the things I can’t change, and understand what isn’t worth changing. In this season of not being able to sense or understand the Lord’s will as perfectly, he’s using my lack of sight to create a sense of stability that I doubt I’d have to learn otherwise.
I realize now that in Christ, I have perfect freedom. Dissatisfied with overthinking and finally understanding why other people make that analogy, I realize that I have not fully understood the liberty in Christ and him as my place of rest.
I surrender conflicted feelings over doing the right thing. Sometimes I’ve worried that in pursuing what I know is right, I will sacrifice all the less important things that I still want. I get the feeling that the Lord will make a way for many of those things to be added to me if I continue in faith, and it will be for my good if he doesn’t. For some seasons, it’s absolutely necessary to forego specific desires so that you can pursue what is most important. Self-denial and self-control are definitely important, even if they are uncomfortable. Still, I don’t think I will have to ignore all of what God has put on my heart forever. On the contrary, I’m going to examine my life simply and remain willing to learn in every season. If it’s meant to be, the Lord will do it anyways.
Even when you do what’s right, the Devil can make you ashamed of your choices long after you’ve chosen. Based on vulnerabilities that you ignored when you originally chose, Satan still finds a stronghold. Maybe the solution to weakness is to remember Jesus and to wait it out until you know better? The Lord works in funny ways. If you feel convicted to resist a bad choice and you follow that feeling, eventually you find 4-5 more reasons that may even be stronger grounds to know better than the little perspective you were going off of. It’s better to follow the Lord, because only in hindsight (months/years later, or heaven) do you get a fuller view over the grief you missed out on.
Knowing who God is and knowing what he plans to do through the bible makes it a lot easier for me to just do what I know is my portion. God’s going to be God regardless of my decision-making. It’s easier to focus on the responsibilities he’s given to me knowing that he will keep his word.
Overall, I’m just not willing to be ashamed anymore. Convicted, yes. Corrected, absolutely. But hopeless? Afraid? Unnecessarily worried? No. I’ll pick my battles. I’ll trust in God for his provision.