I texted a good friend today, and was steadfastly reminded of what it means to have mutual respect within a friendship.
Through long chunks of text, I explained how I’m fascinated by the composition of the people I curate on Facebook. I have about 264 people on my Facebook. Probably half have been abroad (outside the country of their origin). Speakers of various languages. Different life stories and ages. Plenty from Kansas, but plenty are not. Generally good conversationalists and/or people I remember for being exceedingly nice. Across the board (and ignoring the 10+ friends that I cannot delete because they are mutual friends and would be obnoxious about it), I respect them.
Facebook isn’t a place of perfect synchrony. For me, it’s a menagerie of people who fascinate me. I’m curious about their personalities, in a way that doesn’t make me bored. Maybe older people don’t get this (depending on how they interpret technology), but Facebook is a place of enjoying the life choices of people who I think are worth remembering. I’d rather have an original thought than be world famous. Such is life.
I have a variety of people I can text my random thoughts these days. I pick the person I think would most relate. I risk saying what I really think on a regular basis because I don’t expect to be hurt. I guess it’s a possibility, but I’m not particularly concerned. If I tell somebody what I legitimately think, the ball is in their court.
Some of my worst friendships have gone up in flames because I overwhelmed people-pleasers who often buried their feelings. Instead of being honest, they assumed that I would overreact to basic human needs (aka, give me some space, I’m tired). I’m not going to pistol whip you if you don’t immediately text me back. I’d rather you be honest. There is only so much guessing and getting it wrong I can do before I run out of ideas. It’s a lot easier when people tell you what the issue is.
In general, it takes a long time for me to distill what I’m actually thinking. I stumble around when I’m speaking so much more than in writing. It takes me a long freaking time to simmer those words out. It’s a lot easier to share with people who at least partially appreciate what I have to say.