In the church in which I was raised, we have so many people who like the idea of God, but don’t draw close to him. Fanciful about the concept of God but not willing to be steadfast believers, we retain spiritual immaturity and intellectualize God into a dark, damp hole.
I realize now that I have never really understood the importance of the Bible. I’m in discipleship with a couple currently who pushes me to achieve the best God has for me, and they actively encourage me to grow in the knowledge and godly discernment of the scriptures. Never before have I understood that in the word of God, we have the mind of Christ. Instead of reading Bible stories, I have begun to pray that I can commit scripture to memory, and begin to think more like Christ.
Most things in my college classes aren’t hard for me. I have always loved school and loved learning, and whether or not it’s helpful, I can skate by on very little. Being raised in a church where so many people were lukewarm about Jesus, we were often encouraged to make up our own version of the truth in subtle ways. The college group ran out of this same church were glorified drinking buddies. Not the best attitude for your soul.
I want to know what I know because of Jesus and what he said about who he is. I can make up false philosophies all the live long day, and as a Psych major, I can even be good at it. I don’t want to live my life for the sake of destruction. I’d rather let my words and views be informed by the immense and immeasurable love of God.
I am letting go of my hypocrisy and the hypocrisy of others. Maybe I can get along with everyone. If being true to myself in my word and action isn’t something I am called to sacrifice, then I can probably better accept others. To be honest, I have been officially saved for almost two years now and it’s nuts that I can draw so close to God within church, but silently distrust a lot of my church’s people (based off of personality differences and nothing else). God is living and active in my church, and this is a season of growth for us. He is knitting together people you’d never think would learn from one another.
I want everything I do or have or say to be to the credit of God. As much as possible, I want to be living to give him credit. I’ll die and be with him eternally, so this life is basically in order to celebrate and bring people to Jesus. The last of the Psalms (150) ends with all things under creation praising and giving glory to God. If that is the ending, why not give it all away now?
For so long, I thought that only bigots/mean-spirited fundamentalists/hypocrites thought the Bible was fully legit, and that they generally disregarded cultural details and other important considerations. I thought that people mostly used the Bible as an excuse for their false prophecy. While some of that can be true, you don’t have to love the Bible AND be a hypocrite. God gave scripture to us for a reason.
I have focused so long on the sin of taking things away from the scriptures that I never recognized that adding to it is just as bad. Coming from a church were you had to basically invent your own God experiences to explain to anyone why you actually cared and actually wanted to pursue God, I’m glad that cup of stumbling has been taken from me. God can unravel the answers. I’m going to wait, sit, and read.