Remaining innocent (and Valentine’s day)

I work often, I go to school full time, I am involved with my church, and I have a variety of friends, but I swear, I feel most innocent when I hang out with children.

I love the simple way that kids give. I love the fact that so much of what they do is genuine. I love how they speak honestly. I love that children are unique and special, and they remind us of our most fundamental needs, even needs we feel too old for.

I am more healthy when I spend time playing with a child. I make better decisions because I want to be a leader. I don’t want them to have to do life alone. Even more than church, when I’m in that place of sharing and innocence, I am reminded of the simple love we all desperately desire but lose sight of. Especially with Valentines day tomorrow, the simple love of children gives me hope.

As a young woman, I regularly feel like I am considered in a way that disrespects me on a personal level by the men around me. I don’t want to be considered in a sexual sense. I don’t want to have assumptions or nasty expectations placed on me. With sincerity, I want to remain young. I may grow old, but that doesn’t mean I should feel comfortable when the creepy men in my air space make nasty comments or look to me to fulfill their lack of satiety.

Jesus fills every need. You shouldn’t need me. You shouldn’t be telling Facebook sagas about how you want a wife or a girlfriend. To be honest, I’m not super young but in my heart, I’m still a child. It freaks me out to realize that you are thinking of me in a way that is dishonest and disrespectful. I would rather be your little sister in Christ.

As with any relationship, you aren’t going to be satisfied without Christ. Stop assuming a girlfriend/wife is going to solve that. It won’t. Try Jesus. Stop spending year after year moping about what you don’t feel blessed enough to have. Christ is a better alternative.

I don’t expect any partner of mine to be able to satisfy all of my needs, and that is exactly what I have Christ for. I know God as my creator, my present help, and my friend. He doesn’t exact taxes out of me. He doesn’t want to mold me into the perfect girlfriend. When I spend time with God, it feels like freedom. I come away with a greater sense of hope. I no longer hunger. I am well in my soul. I have joy.

No woman can fill the place in your heart God is meant to fill. When you create unrealistic expectations for a woman who is supposed to fill the place of God, you turn off nearly everyone who would consider getting close to you. It’s not fair.

I just want to remain a kid a little longer. We are all a lot better off when our lives are filled with that childlike love. It’s a much better way of living.


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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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