Reasons I take offense to the ways Christians address gay marriage

  • Same sex marriage is not the executive sin of all sins. All sin is evil in the eyes of God, and all people have fallen short. While I don’t believe that marriage is meant to be between members of the same sex, marriages that don’t honor God also fall short of his covenant, as does adultery, as does premarital sex, as does pornography addiction, etc. Why are we treating same sex marriage as the epitome of all sexual sin? That isn’t fair or truthful. It feels as though we are attacking gay marriage as the ultimate sacrifice to correct sexual brokenness. Christ was sacrificed to atone for sin, even though that doesn’t change the definition of marriage. Why make so many people into martyrs, when by Christ, they too can be saved by what they believe? If we actually had a heart for the gospel more than pointing fingers, we’d be inviting people who share our brokenness into our churches instead of acting like abusing them for any trace of sexual brokenness absolves us all of being fallen creatures.
  • If we really care about sexual purity, why not boycott all marriages that don’t actively involve the Creator? In order to find out who is being super good about honoring God in their relationships, we’d have to tap people’s phone lines, read their mail, hack into their user accounts for social media, steal their phones, interview their immediate and extended family/coworkers, etc. Or, we could just pray for all marriages, pray for the married people we know, and know that God is a thorough and righteous judge.
  • No one cares about the brokenness that straight and lawfully married people impart unto their children, but if a child were to learn sin through someone on the LGBTQIA spectrum, that is a criminal offense. All parents have brokenness. By saying that the things that a straight person would do to mislead their kids are any less dangerous than a gay person, we make distinctions that aren’t ultimately truthful. What about all the sexual sin and childhood trauma that kids of straight parent’s encounter? Can you really say that learning pornography addiction from a family member is any less dangerous and destructive to kids than encountering people who are gay, even as fellow members of society? That just isn’t true.
  • If people want to start a witch hunt over the people who “promote” gay marriage, that is going to be a long list, and probably, mostly comprised of straight people, who far outnumber people who are LGBTQIA identified.
  • The law was never meant to be the same as the law under Christ. Moses gave people the law due to the “hardening of their hearts” (Mathew 19:8) ( If we turn our bodies of government into replacements of God’s law, we essentially dilute the gospel. God’s law existed and will exist long before and after individual governments. If most people aren’t keeping to covenant definitions of marriage anyways, how is this case any different? We have the law to keep order, but it is not a replacement for Christ, or what God has commissioned.
  • Not all people will marry. Not all people will have sex. Sex isn’t the end all be all to existence, and nor is marriage. Our mistaken understanding of marriage stretches far beyond gay marriage. Attacking gay marriage wont correct all of our mistaken beliefs, because the lies stretch far beyond it.
  • A lot of mistaken beliefs about marriage come from the fear of being alone. If you are in Christ, you are never alone. You can’t find Jesus simply by getting married. Marriage is a covenant, but it is not the same thing as Christ. Otherwise, the marriage covenant becomes an idol, and we completely misinterpret the love story of the gospel.
  • A lot of LGBTQIA identified people see their sexual orientation as a large part of their personal identity. Since churches have been so content to shut them out, is it any surprise that people should resort to this form of self identification rather than viewing themselves as children of God? Doesn’t that kind of sound like the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:4-26), or the unclean woman Jesus healed (Mathew 9:20)?
  • Part of the reason I care about this is because I have personally experienced same sex attraction. I assumed that admiration for other young women was an obligatorily large part of my identity, and in a world that has it all wrong about sex, I identified as bisexual partially out of advocacy for my friends who also have sexual brokenness, out of anger at the church for not recognizing that this is a shared burden of mankind, and out of the assumption that no one would love me as I am. Having Jesus love me fully made me less afraid, and eventually, those feelings just left. Don’t ask me why. I think it has to do with the lack of fear, and feeling satisfied in God’s love for me. The world we live in tells us that any form of admiration for a person our same age or gender has to be interpreted through the lens of sexual attraction, which isn’t exactly true. People are pressured to be perfectly whole creatures in a world that makes it impossible (without Christ). I hate that the church has such a vendetta against LGBTQIA people, because it is my belief that Satan uses our fear and hatred for them to exclude them from the Kingdom of God, due to our own personal choice. Does Jesus’ love for us really conquer sexual brokenness? If we refuse to care, how will we be brave enough to find out?
  • People in our churches have had these experiences. Instead of blaming, why not actually engage with how God has been present and active in their lives throughout those seasons? It makes more sense than parading around like we have all the answers.

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I am a teacher-to-be who loves people. I am not afraid of many things. I like to explain my thoughts logically on a very birds-eye view level--I was born thinking that way. I follow Jesus Christ, and I accept only that label to describe my identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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