Questions I can’t seem to answer

  • Why is honesty so important? Are some people more capable of honesty than others? Does less fear make you more honest? Does it come down to finding the words? What about the heavy spiritual truths that really, no words can express? What makes some people more willing to share their hearts with others? Are people who love honesty also more prone to “love conflict” (or whatever that means)? Can you separate honesty from hope? Does being honest actually make anyone’s life any easier (or does it become harder)? How do you even evaluate that last question?
  • Can you be a good friend if you don’t have a history of many long-standing friendships? Are some people better at keeping long-standing friendships than others, or is it mostly up to circumstance?
  • Why do so many people assume that any amount of secrecy or keeping things to yourself is negative? Some of the best spiritual insights legitimately have to be kept between you and God, and that isn’t punishment, it’s intimacy. If I told every single person I knew about everything God and I had talked about in the last week, I’d be out of friends. That role of “person I want to tell basically everything when I’m excited”/”person I want advice from”? That belongs to God. It just works out better that way.
  • Is there a difference between people who believe that they are a “good person”, and people who refuse to believe that there are a “bad person”? Which takes less effort to prove?
  • Why do so many people add so much baggage to age? It’s like there is no productive way to talk about generations of people and the differences between and within them to another human’s face without that person taking offense to literally any mention of where they might lie in that continuum. Aging isn’t bad. Aging is inevitable. Why is the only connotation we attach to aging the accumulation of face wrinkles? There is supposed to be a lot more meaning attached to growing older than panicking when your rights to vanity expire. Obsessing about personal appearance has never been helpful to begin with. God forbid we construct something more meaningful out of growing old than trying to create a pissing contest out of being young, and villifying our bodies for what they were always going to do anyways.

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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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