The process of building a healthy set of expectations onto one’s faith so that marriage is actually worth experiencing has so much more to do with having strong faith beforehand. I know that we are all sinners under grace, but conversations on purity that may or may not include sex often miss out on one of the most important factors to respect the marriage covenant: that by waiting for something so highly joyous and desired, you have a small glimpse of what it means to wait on Christ, as humans have been doing first and then a second time throughout all of human history.
This comes down to self-discipline and putting the respect you have for God’s covenants and will above your own desires. If you respect him, then you obey him. Instead of defining what reverence and awe for God looks like by what it’s not, why aren’t more Christians framing this issue by the strength that well-tested faith brings to marriage? Or the ability of people to look to God for marital support? Or the stability it can bring to your family, and families who have never known stability? Or the fact that in the church community, you have a lot of support from people who are walking the same walk? Instead of making this into a loss, why aren’t we recognizing that not all relationships are healthy, equitable, spiritually beneficial, or respectful of people’s full selves and bodies? Why cant we acknowledge that the desire to be united in love with another person is just a shadow of human’s inherent desire to be united with God (and thus, the need of Christ)?
Sex is not the goal of marriage, and it honestly, it’s an unsubstantial basis for any kind of relationship. The reason people are called to wait is out of respect for God and his promises, and not because it is his will to cheat you on such a widespread human experience. This has nothing to do with being cheated. Understanding that God knows and wants what is best for you makes waiting an expression of love and worship, and strengthens the end result.