Things I hope I will remember about today

  • My mom’s vicious and sublime talent for cursing. We have a small scale mice infestation at my house right now which our two dogs refuse to do anything about, and it’s funny to hear what comes out of her mouth as I sit upstairs, doing my homework. She communicates better with her pet cockatiels when she is asking them politely to get back inside their cage than she does with me most of the time. Although I subdue it for the most part, reminders of my childhood habit of cursing like a sailor come back whenever my sister comes home from school. Once there are three of us in the house, it takes off like a poorly positioned wildfire. Nevertheless, my mom has an affinity for weirdly inappropriate verbal expressions that have become out of date but are only exacerbated by a good dose of cursing. My favorite to date is “colder than a witch’s tit”, used to characterize a particularly frigid winter’s day.
  • I was in the middle of typing notes for a reading, and something in the air must have triggered a memory to when I was a child and we used to go to Penny Annie’s downtown candy store and buy exactly $1 or $2 worth of mint nonpareils and chocolate rocks with my baby sitter. Those were the best days of the year because the entire store (which has since closed down and was sadly replaced by a frozen yogurt shop) smelled so sweet and fresh at the same time; like you could get sugar high by benefit of the air alone. The old wooden display housed so many different boxes of candy, with corresponding glass jars on the counter that electrified Roald Dahl’s account of the nasty mouse he placed in the candy jar in Boy with real and visual mischief. They had bubble gum ice cream which was the only solution for having to choose between either ice cream or candy. If you saved up all the nasty spit covered pieces at the end of your scoop, you could even blow a bubble. You’d probably have to wash your hands at that point though, because the food dye would have leached all over your fingers while you were in the process of fishing the pieces out of your mouth.
  • My dog Ella’s obsession is sticking her Pomeranian tongue up other people’s nostrils. She loves to pick your nose for you if she has the chance, and I might finally know why. Teddy (our poodle) will lick at your eye balls to give you affection, in part because of his enormous eye goobers that never seem to leave. Teddy assumes that you want love the same way he wants love, which is for you to wipe away his eye goobers with a washcloth. I never put two and two together, but Ella is always sneezing like she has allergies. Sometimes after she eats, she contorts herself on the carpet and rubs her snout on the ground as she’s itching herself. What if the reason Ella is a booger caper is because she has chronic snot problems? Mystery solved.
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haleylol

I am a teacher-to-be who loves people. I am not afraid of many things. I like to explain my thoughts logically on a very birds-eye view level--I was born thinking that way. I follow Jesus Christ, and I accept only that label to describe my identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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