Worship should be the foundation, not romance

Friends, I’ve been giving the idea of a worship based lifestyle some more thought, and I want to discuss more about love and dating in relation to it.

When I think about God, I think about his ability to heal and restore us. To me, another mark of his face is health over our lives. God loves all of us regardless of whether we are in spiritual, mental, and physical good condition, but the idea of a prosperity, wholeness, and integrity reminds me a lot of the goodness of his love. It seems like one of those things that naturally carries over into all we do, in a lifestyle of worship.

As humans, we place a large emphasis on pursuing romantic love, to the point of ostracizing people who aren’t especially interested in committed relationships. For either a season or perhaps for years of one’s life, singleness is an inevitable eventuality that can be a blessing. The apostle Paul is a fabulous example of someone who found himself with plenty of time to invest in Christ by benefit of not being married/remarried.

Do our lifestyles really change all that much from dating to not dating? Marriage is one thing, but when we are in the intermediary and trying to vet potential relationships or early in them, should our lifestyles change all that much? I don’t think they should.

If you are firmly rooted in God, work/school, family/friends, and other places that enrich your life and remind you of the good in the world, do your necessary obligations really change? You’ll probably still have chores. You’ll need to eat, and have routines for bills, personal hygiene, exercise, whatever. If our time is already set in routines and a lifestyle that is within balance for it’s particular season, why does it sometimes seem so important to find love as fast as you can? The idea of worrying as a means to find love makes no sense and is a crappy use of your resources.

With a healthy, whole life, cultivating relationships and paying into others is a natural outcome. That should be obvious, but it’s also not. If you are a young Christian, the goal should not be exclusively to get married and have children, but to please Christ. Why put love in a rush if it doesn’t naturally follow from trying to rush God? All of that is echoed throughout all of Ecclesiastes. One of the lies we tell ourselves as part of singleness is that our lives would be so much different if we were in relationships. For the good of all that needs to be in your life regardless of who you share it with, I really hope not.

A lifestyle of worship is about happiness and wholeness in God. You can find evidence of God all around you regardless of your romantic occupation. If love’s not in the season, it’s like bitter fruit; it won’t be as good as you want it to be. And maybe I’m just talking to myself, but if you’re already healthy, not all that much will be different. If you’re lucky, you’ll just have abundance.

You cant control Gods timing, but you can give more sin and distractions over to him now. Following his holy spirit and the health in it sets you up to enjoy a life that is for the best, regardless of whether he ever brings upon seasons of love. The great thing about Gods love is that you can have enough in boldness even if the romance you’re waiting for never comes. The lifestyle doesn’t change. The commandments are still consistent. Even without the promise of romantic love, you’ve still got a good life to look forward to that isn’t dependent on your circumstances and relies genuinely on the steadfast grace of God. Living like Paul did is still an amazing life. Depravity isn’t missing out of some dreams that may not come like you expect them to, it’s what happens when you’re living without God, in whatever condition that might be. Love would only bring more company to a walk that is blessed to begin with. It’s God’s who redeems our walk to begin with.

It’s not like you’ll ever genuinely be forgotten or alone if you’re in Christ. You may feel like it, but you can always call on God. His nature doesnt change. He remains just as good.

Logistically speaking, I think it would be nice to get married and have kids, but my life isn’t defined by whether or not I procreate. God loves me. His love is enough, and I can pay into my church family in a similar style as I could blood relatives. I’m not saying that will necessarily happen, I just want to point out that within love, we have options. Staying single doesn’t have to suck. Your greatest priority while your young shouldn’t be picking out the baby names, it should be investing in your relationship with God. Having worship centric habits that let health spread outward from the foundational aspects of your life provides a lot firmer foundation to build upon than chasing what isn’t ripe yet.


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I am a teacher-to-be who loves people. I am not afraid of many things. I like to explain my thoughts logically on a very birds-eye view level--I was born thinking that way. I follow Jesus Christ, and I accept only that label to describe my identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

2 thoughts on “Worship should be the foundation, not romance”

  1. Haley, I cannot express how much hope this post has given me in just the amount of time that I have read it. Even though I know most of what you have pointed out right here and have written slight on the subject, it is always nice to see another blogger supporting similar ideas in such a Christ like manner. Thank you for being such an inspiration and helping every one of us. I can feel Christ working within you as I read all your well thought out blogs. Keep up the good work!!
    Yours Truly!


    1. Rachel, thank you! That makes me so happy to hear! I’m glad it finds you well and that it encourages you. I’m happy to read your posts as well and keep an eye out for what God is doing in your life! I’m excited for you and hope that you continue to find peace in following decisions based in him. We young ladies who love Jesus have got to look out for one another! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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