Things I learned from the last person I had feelings for

1. God wants me to want him more.
2. God wants me to learn to want better.
3. God wants to be more close to me by having me trust him more.
4. He didn’t deserve me.
5. God wants me to rely on him for what I’m lacking.
6. God wants to be the one to give me what I need.
7. I can go ahead and move on.

Thinking about dating, even though I don’t have any desire to be a part of it. It’s funny, because we can spend years soul searching and unpacking what love is, but that doesn’t give me the motivation to move. I can have very set principles, but the middle ground between ending up with someone I care about and the present day seems truly awful. I don’t want to get married any time soon, but the concept of dating has become so many different things and not many are very respectful. I really want to come to respect a person I develop feelings for first. I want to feel lucky, and how can I feel comfortable in a relationship if I cant respect someone as a kind of friend? I’d rather build later good things on a foundation of respect. It just seems right.

I’ve got so many lady friends that are single in churches right now, and it makes me kind of sad. A lot of lovely girls, attractive and genuine, and it makes me sad because it’s like a crap ton of boys are off being lost in other places. If I am going to be blunt, I don’t want to be in a relationship with a man who doesn’t fiercely invest in his faith. It would be a step down from the love for which God has for me. I’ve got a lot of peace of mind in what God does. I really don’t want someone to not care about God and then struggle to care about me. It would be bad news bears.

He can’t take Gods place in my life. That doesn’t mean you dont have imperfections, that just means you invest in the one who doesn’t. The reason many young women seek men to be God in their lives is because they’re looking for them to be something they think God wasn’t, or can’t be, or is less fun in being. I get that feeling young and in love is exciting, but feelings and love are very different. If God doesn’t hold his rightful place in your life, you are going to have a hard time being content and satisfied with a significant other. God helps me tremendously, and if I’m being honest, I really dont need a man that bad.

Which is why he’s got to be someone I respect. I don’t want to need him, I want to want him because I find value in him and how I care for him. If I can’t see his value first in a deeper way (by time observing his behavior), why would I rush to settle? It’s madness. If I truly believe that marriage is a blessed sacrament and I do, why would I unequally yoke myself to someone whose faith isn’t part of what makes him attractive? Strength comes first from the spirit and then to the body. I want a love like that, that isn’t merely physical and is connected to the true vine.

If you are a guy, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want the best for you, and nurture your faith? You really must want to be nagged into an early grave. If the lady you’re with isn’t committed to your spiritual wellbeing, then she will probably put pressure on you to live up to who God is instead of who you are. No offense, but fewer expectations should be a relief, since you won’t even come close. If we are honest about what we really want instead of what feels good, you probably want someone who cares about you more completely. If you or her are loving out of a prolonged need, eventually that will really suck.

I don’t have the answers here, I just know there is something both sexy and beautiful about a man with integrity. But as zany as the words may sound, if I die before that comes to me, so freaking be it. There is more to life than man shaped idols. God tells me he’s got me covered, so I’m good.


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I am a teacher-to-be who loves people. I am not afraid of many things. I like to explain my thoughts logically on a very birds-eye view level--I was born thinking that way. I follow Jesus Christ, and I accept only that label to describe my identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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