Complaint 8/9


We have no idea how big you are or what you’re here for. It’s not just your character we misunderstand, it is who you’re meant to be in our lives. You have loved us, but we confuse love with tingly feelings of infatuation and sacrifice through hypocrisy. We become the leaden image of you hated and sought to destroy. We pervert your spirit of truth because we have not known it. We ignore warning signs and let our stubborness circle our living graves.

We forget our children, abandoning them to their own devices. There is no knowledge and just teaching of sin, because few desired to keep it and because many have made it sensational. We have broken the world in thousands of clear cut pieces. We would rather use up our bodies, all that we own, and yet more, all that is priceless, so long as no one is required to change.

We ask for you to rain down healing, but we do not turn towards it. We ask for freedom from sin, but yet we do not seek to give it up. We look for big signs and for you to act like a bodyguard, but do not draw near to you for your grace. None of us really know what love is. Yet, we seek it in an attempt to find it beneath every other possible path, not seeking the spirit we’ve been claiming all along.

How can we whine about our world hurting and yet hold so much enmity between one another? Do not our own hearts grieve, or have we given up on a good life; in love proper? Do we care to provide for others apart from our allotted soundbyte and profile proof?  Would we understand providence id it just happened to fall upon us and we woke up from inside the middle of it?

We don’t find you because few of us are looking for you. And for those that know what that implies, the lack or our desire isn’t so much of a surprise as a sticky note upon a tremendous body of proof. Yes, you can convict us through miracles. Or you can wait and allow us to watch us destroy ourselves, and see how long it takes for us to learn any better. Most of us are stuck in a Babylon of our own devising, and like your besieged city, would rather canabalize our own children than admit we were wrong. If you have known it would be since before the beginning of time, does it hurt to watch us destroy the kingdom we are called to be building in real time? Does no one offer the sponge?

I am waiting, and watching for your answers. The disconnect between what is seen and what is realized is fierce. I worry that we will all die as fools in our vanity before this is over. We wouldn’t even recognize you.


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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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