It’s not actually a bad place to not be surrounded by a large social circle. ESPECIALLY if you are trying to reinvest in specific types of people who will let you love on them. ESPECIALLY if you need to learn to rely on God more right now.
It’s not bad to watch friendships leave, because a lot of that can be healthy and even if it sounds scary, is inevitable. Even without the same social scenery, we are meant to grow and evolve with time and it isn’t always possible to allow yourself to be pulled in two different directions as a large amount of your priorities change. Go with the good. Go to God in response to the rest.
Maybe it’s just because I’m older, but I’m enjoying this summer. I have the chance to invest in others who I wouldn’t as deeply appreciate otherwise, like coworkers, family, more distant friends, and new people who are honest and quality. I don’t want to cling to my social safety net, because actually it isn’t ripped in pieces and it becomes more frayed by faith. The people who love me simply get it and the rest of former friends are threatened by
my faith. Actually, I do get it. But even if I have compassion, those priorities will forever remain solid. We abide in Christ, not the world, and the backlash can be replaced by kind people, whether Christian or not. It’s funny how when people are mad at you, they think there is no way you could get it. Lord, I know both sides of that.
But our lives always change, and I see health in a lot of old friends I’m just now seeing clearly, and a lot of new friends I have yet to know at all. If the Holy Spirit moves, we should move with it. Ours is not a spirit of fear.
So they change. And I don’t have a squat team of other people now, I never really did. Had a lot of company, but what for? I’ve got a lot more beloved acquaintances now, and it’s fascinating how as we learn more about love, God, and people, how much more you are able to salvage from the seemingly daily and mundane. Those are crops to be gathered, friends. If we don’t move on, how can we know that?
I have changed, friends have changed, but there is a lot more of what is appreciated, and the last part is most crucial. Do you savor the company you’ve got? Why in hell, then, would you be foolish enough to ask for me? Loving your peripheral almost-strangers is beautiful.
So my circle may die but that has come to pass passing into freedom. I don’t want the limits. I want to just be able to love other people. Not everyone can do that. It’s not that hard if you let it be easy and not about making others or yourself prove anything. Grace allows that to happen.
I like the idea of having a motley assortment of friends anyways. Doesn’t that seem more useful? Diversity and differences are precious gifts. If rather open myself up to a little more of that.