Have you ever felt that way? Sitting here and thinking about the feeling of having some new reality feel like a riddle until you see the masterful way God has undone it. In terms of my mistakes and misconceptions, I know I’ve got a lot left to see unraveled. I crave honesty over that, because I know if I keep walking, God will meet me in ways that make the confusion clear. I’m going to have eternity to sit and take joy in what he has done, but to think of what he does now while I live and breathe. I know he has my best interests in mind, which is a relief when I look to the future, dating, hopefully a family, whatever else. I’d feel a lot stupider and clueless if I was trying to do it on my own. I’ve had enough of that.
When I am at my happiest, I do not notice the lack of what society tells me I desperately need to validate my existence. I don’t give a shit. And it’s one of those pure times of not caring, because I entirely forget. What I need most is communion with God and the beauty he brings to my life. Thr rest is peripheral. When you have peace, you naturally feel like its enough because you aren’t focused on finding more. You shift your focus on God and everything gets easier because it’s no longer about your weakness but his deliverance. That is how he frees us. He allows us to see what kind of love he had for us that entire time, and allows us to cast our burdens on him instead of being crushed by them. Pretty good arrangement if it comes for free.
When I look to the future, it’s like overlapping paths and different smoky realities that just need to be walked through. Like either side of the Red Sea being parted, I know that I will have peace in the storm solely due to whose hand is guiding me.