Hold your head up high

Yesterday, I was walking down a street on campus, and I had some idiot guy in a truck jeer at me regarding something related to sex.

Well hello to you too, Whoeverthehellyouare.

That has never really happened before to me, and I stood there confused, eventually just laughing because it seemed so utterly absurd. It was like living a comic strip in real life. Ridiculous.

In light of that, I want to take a moment to talk about the only solution I’ve found to negative attention from guys these past few weeks, since for whatever reason I’m finally to the point where I’d rather not hide and I’m going to make the effort not to disengage.

It should be a given at this point that perfection isn’t good for the soul. Health and peace of mind are goals to be had over being thin and perfect grades/hair/relationships/etc. But it’s not like anyone gives very practical advice for how to deal with this kind of bullshit when it shouldn’t exist in the first place. That being said, lift your head up.

Keep your chin raised when people disrespect you. Keep your eyes forward if you are trying not to look down. Atleast then you won’t care if people think of you in ways you wouldn’t appreciate, right?

Oh Lord I wish it were so simple.

I don’t have a solution. I wish I did. The raised chin thing is the best I’ve got, even though it’s not fair to limit my vision to the feet in front of me. Honestly, it’s all a crap shoot. It would be better to spend time on what I care about and try to disregard the best. Who am I kidding? This doesn’t have to be my strength.

If the more we are after is more from God, it is funny how the only kind of more seems to be interpreted as a sexual, promiscuous kind of more. A destructive more. The same kind of more that blames you for jeers you didn’t want kind of more. The same kind of more that doesn’t listen.

I want a different kind of more. One I can be proud to pass on to my children, who will only come into being by my choice. I want a more that has a self control that gives life instead of shames people and takes goodness away. I want a more that doesn’t seek it to keep good things to itself. I want a more stemming from the spring of life. I want a more that doesn’t have to be pleasant to be wanted.

I don’t understand how so many people in the world can claim to love one another and want so little to have to give away. Selfish love isn’t love, that’s just selfishness. Love gives freely.

Sometimes it feels like people who are practicing spiritual gifts must really be keeping silent. I see more and more people speaking up now, and that’s good. The only issue is that in order to really change the world, we need so much more. But for the sake our ourselves AND those who come after us, this is a more worth fighting for.


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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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