Outside and straightforward

The weather outside is like you’re lazing in an outdoor bathtub. It is that comfy.

Ella has had so much peace lately. I like it when we just hang out.  Personal space has never been a thing, but she’s not aggressive in hogging my attention anymore. The jealousy is just not there.

When Teddy comes running from across the yard, sometimes all it takes for him to bound in my lap is one simple whistle. He’s happy to hang out. He seeks my company now, and its nice. He did that before, but it’s like he’s excited to just sit with me. Just to simply be present. That is about the most beautiful affection a person can receive, to have comfort because you are somebodies “just because”.

We make such a freaking contortion of love sometimes. I may be in the minority, but I don’t want to be loved for some special reason, or told about what makes me special, or recieve more attention than any sane person could actually want. I would much rather have someone love me just because. Because we were both lucky. Because we were both blessed. Love given in grace is already justified in and of itself, it really doesn’t need extra reasons.

Love may not need reasons, but boy can it be ruined with excuses. I have been reflecting a lot lately on the difference in making room for people and accomdating their various paths in coming to Christ, and I need to say a few things.

God doesn’t call any of us in the same way. His plans for our lives are more intricate and individual than we can imagine. It takes a lot of awareness and thanksgiving to know who to give credit to, combined with grace. That being said, no one’s story is something that they should have to apologize for to other humans, nor contort into a scripted understanding of God. God is big enough to be understood by ALL the diverse ways he knows us, and limiting the scope of what he can do seems pretty counterproductive,  with the world as it is. When people bare their souls to you, you are put in a position of utmost stewardship which requires you to listen and praise. If your expectations are ahead of you, and you expect some fantastical rendition of all that God is, you will miss how he works in silence,  in private,  in a very potentially obvious ways (they aren’t). If you focus on Jesus as merely a means of a lifestyle, you clearly underestimate all that you are talking about.

You don’t have to be smart, or old, or young, or wise, or happy, or anything else to give praise. We could use more praise in this world.

In respect to controversial issues in the Christianity right now, I think it’s dangerous to make the state into some version of the church, or to try. Even if you think God would do a better job at ruling the world, that time hasn’t come yet. Let him be the one to judge. Why do we pretend that discrimination is the Christian thing to do? If you really believe that God can work in everyone’s life, then why would you make it your mission to pick and choose? If the State is the new Church, it will not have been built in such a way that it can be redeemed. You don’t have to believe that something is right to be kind to people who do. I don’t know how that has been forgotten, but if Gods love is really sovereign in all of it, do we really have such grounds to be pitching a fit?

It takes years to build something worth saving, and it takes only moments to dismantle something you will miss later. None of us have long lives,  so the soundest thing we can do is to pursue adding value to the ones we are allowed to love. Love isn’t selfish, and it is the one thing that matters most. If love and selfishness stand at two opposite extremes, we should know that genuine love cannot be selfish, because genuine love sacrifices in order to give itself to others.

The world places such emphasis on figuring out the purpose for our existence. You know what? If you already have Jesus, not only do you have the reason, but you also have the purpose. Before all is said and done, there is so much more peace in spending your life with God and living for his purpose. It will mean so much more if it is his.

Other people’s perfect doesn’t hold a candle to the amount of precision and intricacy that God spent in making you. If you sacrifice who you are to please others, you’re also sacrificing an enormous part of his hard work. None of us gets to choose who we are. Would you live long enough to dare to find out how much he loves you? We can celebrate together.

Life is for living, and fear just isn’t worth it. It is nice to hsve such peace.


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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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