That I couldn’t be happier to watch all of the people I love overwhelmingly run after their dreams right now. It’s not everyone, but it’s a crazy disproportionate amount of my close friends and people I’ve randomly loved here and there, through the years. It’s so nice to see them really moving forward on their callings, and finding fulfillment in it. I often play mom to some of my friends, and if this is even a little shimmer of what pride in the one’s you love looks like in actual motherhood, than DANG would that be amazing. I love my friends so much, and above what joy I have for myself in being successful is seeing them happy in what they love.
You know, I haven’t written about some of the things that have been going on in my heart lately all that directly, and that has been a peaceful change. I’d rather take them to God first. It’s so nice to just be able to trust him with a prayer, and know it will be answered. I don’t always need what I ask for, and it’s so much of a greater joy to follow the exponential traces of his overwhelming love. I can find it in the ones I love, but it’s so much bigger coming from the source. Like a River, it moves. I follow the stream, and am content in it. I can’t imagine a happier existence than the overwhelming love of Christ I’ve been grafted into.
Life isn’t always easy, but in my experience, God preserves the most precious parts of us if we trust him. I like being able to trust him, because it’s the last thing I would worry about (as in, the only thing left), and it isn’t even my jurisdiction. My life is his. That simple.
I can give praise because I have seen the truth, and you can’t limit the truth into words. You can’t experience something like grace without faith, and you can’t simplify Christ down into cliches and happy crappy formulas to give your life meaning. Why would you seek that from another person directly? Just look up. He’s already waiting for you. It’s ridiculous how simple and yet, hard that can be. It seems that the greatest struggle is to stop struggling. I’d much rather be buoyed up down stream than struggle against the Lord.
Some strength can only come from God. The more that strength comes into your life, the more it becomes the real thing, in what you are willing to admit to yourself. The past becomes like a cardboard cut out. You not only can live without it, but surrender it gladly. Peace comes from allowing weakness and not trying so stupidly hard, just asking for grace. Forgiveness. Grace. They all mean the same thing, and they all come from the source. To know him is to love him.
I’m only a junior in college right now, but the closer I get to graduation, the more I realize how quickly God has rerouted my life in his own direction. I don’t particularly care about the semantics and knitty gritty details of what he has planned for me yet, because quite frankly, we haven’t gotten there yet. I don’t have to panic or think so ridiculously in advance, trying to store up my own grace if I can trust that he provides as he always has. Remind me what there is to worry about?
Guess what? My car will be fixed soon, the one I smashed more or less in December. It’s weird thinking it could come back to me pretty well fixed by a family friend, done well but budget effectively, and all this time, I hardly noticed it was missing. My mom has been a pro at giving rides. It’s been nice to be forced to hang out, in a derpy obvious way. Nah man, we’ve had a good time.
It seems we’ve stumbled upon the day where blessing is just expected, because there is trust here. Who knew. Accepting love is so much harder than giving it now. If you can accept and be given grace from the Most High, everything else is peanuts. It hardly matters. Eternity has begun to become realized, and we are all greater for it.
If you’re struggling right now, I wish you only knew how greatly you are loved. It comes through trust, and acceptance, but the real work is not our own. It is peace to be so greatly loved, and that peace doesn’t leave. Thank God for Palm Sunday. Thank God for having a Savior worth celebrating. Thank God.
Blessings upon this week, and Easter. That you could have a faith worth savoring.