Dang Jason, thank you for keeping it real. Like, the spirit behind this video is so accurate. Wow. It is peaceful to listen to him sing, because he’s telling the truth.
Sometimes, your heart just feels like one of those blocks of cheese with all the holes in it. Often, I feel like if I had the power to make things right, I would.
But how true is that?
God, I’m not sure. I’m just waiting to watch where God leads, in trying to resolve some of the burdens that seriously stress me out. He is good, and there is strength in him that I simply don’t have. I wish I could explain some of the things I don’t understand even before I’ve opened myself up to receive them. Why hello there stumbling block, you look a lot more obvious from the ground.
Hey, but love is greater than all of it. It doesn’t have to be his, or mine, or anyone’s but God. I wish I could apologize for things I can’t explain still, but some risks just aren’t fair to take unless you are called to them. There is a certain amount of risk in love. I’m not sure it is right to ask for it anymore. Certainly not before it’s given.
Doesn’t that present an interesting question: Is it fair to give or seek love before it is given? I think it’s simpler than we make it. If you love someone, you love them. Feel free to give, and give overwhelmingly. Attached to the overwhelming love of God, you can’t go wrong. Just don’t be surprised if that River of love steers you in a different direction. While my heart is still encroached by doubt and I’m still not spoken for, I will follow him. Not sure what greater good I should be seeking, because I’m fully sure there is none. I’m not sure how people can offer their hearts without such great peace. Not sure how it can become fulfilled. I may be young, but I don’t need to be old to be wise, I can just acknowledge the Holy Spirit that seeks to guide me anyways. We make life so stupidly hard and convoluted, and really, I just want more space to love people. The most important thing, this love, and guess what? It always came free.
With peace, fear just loses its footing. I know God made those truths visible as he needed to. Although I wish it didn’t take stumbling to learn to listen, isn’t that more in line with reality? I’d so much rather have room for my imperfection. I can’t buy into his love in my heart if it’s still overrun with the primal desire to never relinquish control. Love is so much greater than that.
This isn’t a gender thing. For men, how can you lead if you have never learned to follow? We are all called to follow the most high, and spread the good news in the ways he has uniquely designed for each of us. Can we decide to make it as beautifully intricate as he calls us to? Words don’t do that truth justice, because the nature of diminishing from grace is in itself, reduction. I know my God is greater than I can even imagine, and that leads me to believe he can make his beauty as detailed and woven as he deems necessary. It’s a perfect compromise, because it doesn’t come from me.
If we spent half the time on loving one another as we wrestle with how/who/what/when/where constitutes love proper, then I doubt we’d keep having to cling to such sin. Love is free. Why do we keep trying to charge for it? Why do we make it some people’s right, and not others? News flash: We all fall equally short. Just another reason to lift up disproportionate praise: The “No good reason” for which we’re loved.