Honesty Schmonesty

I like being honest, but can we just acknowledge that when people say they are going to “tell it like it is”, that process can often be super painful to witness?

Even if we dabble with abandoning them, social graces are necessary.  They change from place to place, from person to person.  They are part of the magnificent diversity of language and culture and understanding that has been given to mankind as a whole. I still think honesty as a whole is more important than conversational negotiation, but if small talk is done correctly,  it is basically an art form.

I’m from the Midwest of the US, so maybe we get this concept slightw more,  I don’t know. Sometimes I think it would be SO USEFUL to have a tried and true, completely expected manner of how to conduct greetings or inquire about other’s lives, if meeting again. Formal greeting ritual. America needs that.

I know that at this point, most of us would ignore any formal procedure we disagree with anyways, but here me out for a second.  If you just had some framework from which you could conform, then maybe we could pick battles that were actually worth fighting a little more cohesively. I miss diplomacy.  I forget that was once a thing.

The word, even though it’s become an ugly word, is ettiquette.  Lol that it’s coming from me, but so be it. Either it would create more social boundaries for us to collectively dance upon, or it would organize things slightly better than the perpetual awkward that I know plenty of people probably also feel, when just living their silly lives with little to no bearing of structure.  I don’t think it’s wrong to want some form of ettiquette,  especially if you are aware of the fact that nothing can be perfect, and actively take steps to accommodate for that, which is basically diplomacy in the first place.  If we spent as much time dreaming on what could be with decent ways of treating one another than getting worked up over problems the size of beans, maybe we could find some common ground.  In terms of the gospel,  Jesus gets a ton of credit for being a Teacher, a Healer,  a Savior,  but I bet you that to some capacity,  he was also a Diplomat. Think of all the people he met and had to offend, in just the right order and sequence,  for the gospel to be fulfilled. He probably had to pick his battles. He probabw had to just trust,  and know that God would deal with it. Some battles are worth fighting,  and clearly Christ knew that. But in the most basic of ways, Christians crave being more like Christ,  NOT NECESSARILY more like other Christians.  There is room for differences of opinion here.  Even some of the most foundational messages of the gospel seem to somehow have been more or less lost in the shuffle to separate good from bad, and I bet you that’s because, from our perspective, we don’t have all the ability or right or understanding to fully decide.

If Christians came together like the body of Christ,  treating one another as children of God, regardless of denomination, then I bet you we’d find plenty of common ground, thanks to the Holy Spirit.  If we ask others to conform to that very image of love in Cbrist, and yet cannot let God speak through our actions from faith snd submission from understanding his overwhelming divinity, what exactly is the point? If you don’t live like you understand the gospel, and still preach it, is that seriously enough for you? To be given the greatest gift of all, and still never take God up on his word? It is hard to die to oneself, but not nearly as hard as we’re making it. This is not about us.

You can have both.  You can bith be yourself and live a fulfilled Christian life, only maybe you can’t do it like you always want to. This comes down to priorities. Would you put grace above yourself? Would you dare to acknowledge the impact you or your words might have on others? Take it from me, not all hypocrisy is intentional, some has to be uncovered. Would you dare to look?

I hope all is well with all of you guys. It’s a rainy day in Kansas, which is fabulous. The sidewalk is stained with rain, and it smells like dirt, which is the greatest.

Chat cha later



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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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