The longer I stay with this subject matter, the greater I find the need to remain objective, not only in school, but as much as possible, in faith. I disagree with so many of these concepts, but the ability to carefully consider ideas and come to conclusions about the world and what is or is not in line with scripture isn’t optional, it’s necessary. If God is your focus, listening to things you disagree with will make you stronger.
Over the last twenty four hours, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect about what makes some people more difficult to be around that others, and the age old answer remains “hypocrisy”. None of us is perfect. It still hurts to even watch or listen to people who are not just unaware of the harm they do to others, but to a majority extent, willfully blind to it. Talking with my friend Libby this morning, it seems that I am not the only person who feels like there is this strange, generational crisis of lack of male leadership in the church. It spills into other things outside of church, but only more noticeably. My church is fabulous, but compared to the Holy Spirit, we all have room to grow. As I learn more about tact, it is impressive how the way a person says something is so much greater than what they actually say, and I think that is just living proof for how the Holy Spirit is meant to guide us.
Faith is a lot like shorthand jotting down notes, if you let it be. We hsve already been justified. There us an alleged understanding there that comes from the Holy Spirit if you allow it to pass (like Gandalf in LOTR). We are meant to follow.
It’s strange how he’s got us all following him at different speeds, yet in theory and from what I’ve seen, those speeds that most genuinely reflect our hearts and the needs he has assigned to us, and for others. We don’t operate within a vaccuum. Sometimes I think that the comics of naggy wives bothering their husbands are so intricately sad, not just that a husband would perceive instruction only as naggy, but because sometimes all women need is to feel heard. That shouldn’t surprise us in this day and age, and it certainly isn’t surprising if you invest and believe in healthy marriage. But that’s just the point. So few people do.
It is true that marriage isn’t for everyone, but for those people it is for, I pray that it would be strong. When you have children, if you do, it is like the whole weight of the world is on your shoulders, to guide them. I think to how I would feel as some boy’s mother, if he was beginning to look for girls he would be interested in dating, and I must admit, I’d be a little concerned. The reason I think it is necessary to act in a way that respects God isn’t just because I can try to understand different stages of life, but because if I had a son right now who was my age, I’d want to have a good reference point for what a young woman of faith would look like. We all fail, but even given failure, times change. I would want to know what kind of guidance I would be meant to be giving, and if I close my eyes to what new good things might be, I inadvertently misdirect.
It is really hard to be this age, and for everyone. When I am older, I want to have closure over my actions, having still been justified through God. I want to be able to store up the good things I cherish. I want honesty to not get my in trouble, because I have nothing to hide.
I would want to be a good mom, not just because it’s something some women do, but because children need good instruction, especially those which allow them to be kids, and allow authority figures to be trusted. None of us is perfect, but if I can, I would want my faith to be a sign for others. It can’t do that if I don’t accept grace daily. There is no reason love has to cost so much, when it’s already been paid.
Are you ever concerned for your friend’s spiritual growth? I love my friends, and I’m so proud that for the most part, they are growing. Like Job come out of darkness, I am thankful for good company, and people I’d actually want to share with. It’s nice that we all have different strengths, because there is VALUE there.
I like being home. The whole world can be home now, now that I’ve choosen that home can be good. The world is good, because he made it. Regardless of who likes to belittle simple arguments for the lack of their own understanding, and to hear themselves speak, maybe it can just be small, and good. If you cant make your ego small, your faith will never grow large. There is only so much room in each of us, compared to God. Wouldn’t you want to be filled with good things?