I was just writing on my Google Calendar a reminder for a task I have to do later today. Which is strange, because at the time I wrote it, I had just remembered that it needed done, and thus, I decided to write it down.
Which is crazy, because focusing on writing the note, I used the exact same words as the note I wrote just an inch above it, telling myself to do the exact same thing. Huh. That’s weird. It was the exact same, down to the punctuation.
In my Cognitive Psychology class, we talk about how memory often can come back as the things that are most necessary to remember. I need to read more about that, so I’m not exactly sure exactly what that train of thought is called. But it is true.
If my entire life, when negative things have happened, I have chosen that they are not valuable, and let them fade out of my memory, isn’t that a fair explanation for why I can’t remember so much of what wasn’t pleasant to live through? The greater question is: Is that a bad thing?
I really don’t think it is. I think it’s enviable at best, and well-adjusted potentially, or benevolently deranged at worst. I think that is about as far as it makes sense to stretch those thoughts.
Clearly, not allowing myself to think it is a bad thing is the entire crux of remembering well. It’s like a slate is wiped clean, until I have the need to remember those things. Resilience and optimism are correlated, and that is pretty standard. Most of research attempts to discern why that connection exists, some attempts to discern how it exists, and some attempts to discern in which contexts it exists. Could it be enough that it simply exists?
If the only difference between science as a whole and faith is who I give credit to, perhaps none of it matters, like God was saying the entire time. I think that’s got to be the case. Clearly, I have chosen to believe that. If choosing to believe that makes me a more giving person, who is kinder, attempts to be nicer to others, and generally has good intentions (through faith), I accept that.
We all have these choices. I am really not sure what the issue is here. We all have lives to lead, and some of the poorest people have the most decency, because they are made to understand how valuable it can be. I can value another person’s culture for what it is without it having any bearing on my identity, although there is a basic-white-girl stereotype that is the default sometimes, when a person travels. Too many bad impressions, may be. But each person’s choices are his or her own, and not all things can be so complex.
I say “his or her own”, knowing that gender is something that many people have pretty strong beliefs about. Those beliefs change. If I have the understanding, and the experience, and the knowledge to qualify what I mean, then why would it be an issue if I misspeak? If someone requests that I call them by another gender pronoun, I will, no questions asked. But most of the world goes by male or female gender pronouns, when they are translated into English. I accept that people may not agree with the foundation principles behind those pronouns. But I also think that gender is such a complex cultural thing, that a lot of our means of describing and understanding just have to be lived and respected well.
I think that people should be free to choose whatever pronouns suit them, and I think the social structures we have in place should be fair for all people. Clearly stigma is reflected in choices. But the root of stigma is a cultural thing, and it isn’t always directly translated into words; sometimes it is just understood. As long as I’m willing to allow things to be different, I’m not so sure what the issue is.