Social Evolution as a mixed bag and the 21st Century


Social Evolution as a mixed bag and the 21st Century

Some of the things I’m going to say right now are probably printed in a variety of dumb textbooks somewhere with someone else’s dumb named scrolled across them, and I’d like to formerly take this moment to apologize to any dumb predecessor that also had the same dumb ideas as me. I’m sorry.

Moving on. It is bizarre to be of age in the 21st century. Like, I mean, super weird. You have all of the history your heart could desire, none of the masochist desire to force yourself to read it, and none of the patience to appreciate things for what they are as you are living them. Talk about confusing. I get the feeling most people my age think of things in a very polarized “yes or no” way actually has nothing to do with the internet or technology, as so much more to do with being regularly lied to in billions of thousands of ways. We have all of what we could want, and none of the experience to figure out why any of it matters, and meanwhile everyone is printing stupid editorials or research things about Millennials because they’ve clearly never just asked any person who is young directly what they think. How can you be so stupid? Srsly.

Clearly this generation is gonna be some throw back Enlightenment, Transcendentalist, Romantic era second coming. It’s going to be all of the bad writing but only some of it will be relevant! What do you expect with giving Bachelor’s degrees to ppl as an industry? “Sink or swim, suckers,” that is what the world tells us. And oh, we’ll be swimming. Will be swimming like swimmers.

I just want to point out before all the dumb theories of how the world has been reinvented by technological prodigal sons and daughters start really making waves that it was always really really simple. We could have told you this crap years ago. Thank you for the headlines.

But hold on, seriously. Why do we study young people? Are the ways we try to communicate so hard to understand? I don’t think so. Give us the time of day, we’ll do your job better than you do, in all the ways you suck at it! It is strange to me that there are commercial’s on TV to pay some service to make you a Facebook page for your small business. Are you serious? Ask your young relative, give them $20 and some froyo, it’s one and done.

We are going to have disillusionment written across our memoirs like the stuff of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s waking misery. I hated him. I hope you can tell.

I’d rather not hate people I’ve never met, but Nathaniel Hawthorne is long since dead, and I think corpses no longer have enough personhood to incite the ACLU into a rabid fury. So, Nathaniel Hawthorne, I hate you. As a side note, I take back what I said about Kevin Bacon. I’ll mean it again as a eulogy, but for now Kevin, you do you. The stakes of Humor are based on whether people know if you are joking. If I get a teary phone call from the family of Kevin Bacon claiming I cursed poor Kevin by making some awkward joke about his ridiculous name and not so stellar performance in Dirty Dancing, I will cross the burning bridge when I come to it like everyone else does.

Furthermore, why do people think that some people have more of a right to have a sense of humor than others? For real? Whatever.

We all contribute to how the world changes, but some of us do so indirectly. Not all of us can give our opinions, and as humans, most of us never have had that right. Nothing has changed if you pay attention, just learn from the Internet. It’s all there. So many people’s stories were lied about and misrepresented through the entire fabric of human history, and us loony weirdos that feel like talking about it have always talked about it from the get go. We may be more able to now, but that wasn’t our choice either! So many people fought to have to same rights as we take for granted, and get ready for a literary tidal wave of fresh opinions, weird conclusions, and basically strange tidings as a new identities old identities Harlem Renaissance. It’s going to be everything we can imagine and more. And if I’m totally wrong? Whatever!

It’s strange to know a lot more about communication than most people that are older than me, especially by the definitions the technologically literate world uses. It’s humbling and sad to see people seriously stranded and not able to use basic internet skills, because it is such a language of its own. I’m trying to keep on top of things so whenever the future happens, I can still check my email. But it’s scary because all of this evolves quicker than I can pay attention, and I’m spastic as hell! I just don’t want people who are aging to be so separating from other’s that they love. Technology can build this portal to bridge all of this collective loneliness we have as humanity, even if it isn’t perfect and certainly isn’t supervised. We should use it for the best that it has to offer, because we’ve walked across the Brave New World threshold a long time ago and never noticed it. It’s beautiful to be young in this day and age, but most people that are young and take their lives seriously want to share that. That was the entire point of Facebook, to share with friends in a social media platform. It changed everything. There is so much social innovation already written and transcribed onto places it will never be found, we may as well export that to people who feel alone. Call it “service” and it’s basically where we’re headed anyways. I for one would love to hear people stories in a larger database of awesome humans. You could catalog all of it based on them, and update tags based on current lingo. All the information no one my age is getting, all the delightful wit and humor of every human. Make that into a halfway decent textbook, and you can steal it for free. If all the people with all the ideas kept them to themselves, we’d all be dumb, broke, and miserable. Let’s just see what happens.

I just don’t get it. Why don’t we ask people that know the most about new things to explain them to us? Instead of having someone teach a class about Facebook or Photoshop who is 40 and doing their best, give those jobs to the kids that need to learn work ethic and aspire towards being decent people. Stick them with the old people. Why is this suddenly so complicated? Oh right, because we do it all completely wrong and always have.

If we want Democracy, great. It will probably boil down to the merit of ideas as sustainable, collaborative solutions, and become a contest for the best solution on the least amount of money. We’re already there, just look at how most social services of states (Kansas for example) are exported to the Nonprofit sector, which is the glue that holds all of it together. Surely it isn’t so hard as we’re making it. And hell, if anyone actually cared to hear what I was thinking, I’d give it all away for free, as would many others my age. Y’all can keep the money; it will make you miserable anyways. Just fix it.

That is the main difference between my generation and any generation prior, no matter what those stupid editorials and research summaries say: we do things. If you are wasting our time, we probably know. The important question is whether or not you will listen to us. If not, enjoy doing it alone. We will do ours over here in the corner. It will probably be better because we don’t care nearly as much about rivalry (from what I have seen, we need to wait to find out) than most other generations because there is simply so much need that there is no need. Help us help you. Simple.

Also, can someone please make a less hormonal version of Microsoft word? Thanks.


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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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