Merry New Years Swimming Pool
Is it just me, or does the end of this year feel like jumping in a swimming pool?
Stubbed toe, bathing suit riding up, half-yelp as you fly through the air and then
A splash so big you could never have predicted it,
I’m sorry about your magazine.
I’ll be the geek child with the goggles,
You’ll know me by the turquoise and dolphin-esque finesse in the water.
I may never have passed the last level of swim lessons,
But anyone can be a mermaid, Dorkface.
Those barfy concessions stand nachos,
Or that time my cousin James split his swimming trunks off the high dive,
Water in your ears has nothing on water in your sinuses,
I only swallowed a few pints.
Hey, but we’re all learning,
2015 is just sitting there,
A few minutes ‘til the New Year Cannon balls down in New York,
Happy New Year!
I hope you saved me a towel!
If not, there’s always next year for retribution!