Reasons why I love Old People


Reasons why I love Old People

(I started this as a tangent. Adjust your expectations accordingly.)

You can tell a lot about a person by what they read. That’s a very duh kind of statement, but bear with me.

Children are people with less time, right? Well, if a child tells you what they want to learn about, you should let them learn about it.

Personally, I would have told you that I wanted to learn about everything, and I would have ran from thing to thing. Nothing has changed. Ella likes to learn about being cuddled. Nothing has changed there. My mom likes to learn about plants. Still nothing. My sister is an artist. Yeah, you get the picture.

My dad likes to talk about growing different kinds of grasses and weeds, nothing different. My stepmother likes to learn about how to make fabulous soups and fudges and really just wants a good juicer (I’m looking at you Dad. That is a direct hint to directly help you out, you need to get with the program already). My brother Casey likes computers and anything related to Asian culture, nerding out, and good food, at that is how he met his wife Li Xin. My brother Shawn must like something; I assume it has to do with similar things.

My friends are all like that too, on their respective scales. Nikki likes math, reason, and compassion. Karen likes Doctor Who and adorable things (she’s pretty adorbs). Lisa likes holding things together and being the only consistent person I know to legitimately be that mellow. The list goes on and on and on and on, and if I wrote about everyone I love then we’d not just have no time or space or energy, we’d waste our entire lives away.

So. I like Roald Dahl, because he tells you how it is and he did it back when people would see substance in children’s books and still call it great (mostly). I like reading textbooks for about 5 minutes apiece until I find a handful of interest ideas and then absorb them and get bored. I like reading things everywhere in plain sight. My favorite thing to read of all the things that are everywhere and no one reads are informational pamphlets of any kind, but only when they are in context. I like doctor’s offices and bulletin boards, and I like volunteer service centers like the United Way and basically anywhere where they try to distribute information to mass groups of people on paper.

It’s a fine art to communicate without the internet. It’s a fine art to communicate with the internet too, but that is beside the point, because nobody cares. I like the really old advertisements printed in sepia tone paper that has withered with age because it’s like a relic of something I would never understand all the way even if I was living it. I have all this information to choose from, at still, I really like old things because there’s so much more of a story.

I like older people too. I get the feeling that someday soon I will volunteer at an assisted living center because it just seems like a lot of fun. All the stories and none of the grandparents that are biologically mine because mine are dead. Who wouldn’t like that?

I like to get to know the people at my church. Unfortunately, we only have scattered old people, which is really a crying shame. We need the direction, honestly, and not because we’re doing it wrong, but because old people are the greatest and they know what they are talking about.

My favorite thing about reading pamphlets in public places is being able to absorb information that I can distribute and know is slightly more legitimate than anything I read here, on the interwebs. Seriously, who cares? I could tell you 100000+ things about Kim Kardashian’s butt and literally nothing important about how to fix my car. Now, tell me again why we wouldn’t want to listen to the old people? I just don’t get it.

I may have a couple things going for me, but I’m still really derpy and young. I like that. I don’t know who wouldn’t like that, unless you were living it. But hey, things come with a price, and I’m just trying to savor it so I can really build up a menagerie of stories to qualify me to become the best old person I possibly can.

I’m going to warn you, “old person” is something that I say respectfully. It’s like a title. It matters.

If I am a sponge by the way I learn, and I only have to focus really hard and remember to squeeze out most of that collective knowledge on tests to pass my courses (idk why it just is I’m sorry I hate me too tbh), then I really just want to be a sponge near the people that have the most to offer for me to soak up. Hello duh, that is the old people.

I like them best because they realize how special any of the things I say are when they are seriously in no way special. Hah. There’s some beauty in your eye for you to behold. Lol.

It’s like, they’ve been around long enough to realize that not all students talk like me or walk like me or even care in the first place. I like them because they think I’m special, and that is seriously hard to come by. I will listen to the old people, but everyone who tells me I’m not special can shut up and leave because odds are if they don’t think I’m special, they are saying those dumb things because they don’t think they are special. It’s really simple. It just is.

Ehh, but what do I know? It makes me happy to know that I’m clueless yet making it all up. If I say “YOLO” with an old person, at least they will straight up ask me because there is no bizarre screwball social rule that claims they should have to know what I’m talking about. Which is great! I don’t know what I’m talking about! I’m living it though.

The old people are the answer, I’m serious. That, and putting ladies in charge of the world. If everyone listens to their mom and nothing has changed since Elizabeth Cady Stanton and her smashing alcohol with a mallet during prohibition so that the men would stop ruining societal with venereal diseases and adultery and things that were seriously making the world extremely poor and dying (huh, and still are…), then we really just need moms to run our country. At least they will be able to recognize when each other is being a toddler, and they will be able to communicate in mom language to impeach each other with immediate due process and a lot less loopholes. It would be foolproof, until the existing structures we have screw it up. Which is why I believe in Jesus.

Anyways, tangent people of all ages, please let’s hang out! If it’s just in spirit and not in Kansas, I will accept that too. I’m sick of old people thinking I’m joking when I tell them that they are delightful and my favorite. I mean it. I would like it if we could all please take each other seriously so that no matter what our age, when I say the old people are where it’s at, you don’t make some dumb joke about pralines and raisins and prunes or whatever. I love all of those. Guess I just stole you thunder, huh? What the hell ever.


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I am a teacher-to-be who loves people. I am not afraid of many things. I like to explain my thoughts logically on a very birds-eye view level--I was born thinking that way. I follow Jesus Christ, and I accept only that label to describe my identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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