I am so grateful I write like myself. My arm still hurts, but I will forget about it as I type this. I am grateful because all the friends that I have made that are currently not with me will know this is mine, and they will know that I love them because nothing has changed. I spoke with a friend lately who told me when she reads what I write, it makes her miss me very much. That is a beautiful thing, to be loved enough to be missed. That was my goal on study abroad: to love so much that it is tragic to leave but also, beautiful. Thank God nothing has changed.
Throughout the course of my life, people older than I have looked at me and decided upon seeing their reflection that I should do the things they could not. I am smart enough and love living enough that there has always been this knowledge over me that I could do whatever I wanted; call it grace. I still choose God. But so many people have looked upon their reflection and told me I should go into politics, into teaching, into counseling, into nursing into xcyzjkljdaflj. If you care, people will care for you in the best way they know how to care for themselves. I still choose God.
I believe in teaching. I believe in introspective thinking. I believe in dancing. I believe in pushing your comfort zone. If that makes me a Spanish speaking Ballerina that teaches and counsels and talks about the gospel, let it be so. But for the love of God, let me choose my words: they are the most precious, and I hope they will be few.
I spent this morning thinking about the concept of revolutions. I have informally and formally studied many revolutions, if only on the street, and I believe that for anything to work, it must have five tiny criteria that were five because it was small enough to just have five. I am hesitant to put this on the internet. I know that I believe in Christ only. Yet, when you put any type of thought that may inspire change in a public space, there are always unseen consequences. I believe that for any kind of revolution to succeed, it has to be inspired and executed in a corresponding (to the darkness of a situation) level of goodness and kindness. This could be sharing your oreos, or it could be blood (mourned together. No one wants that. It is still the truth). Who are we to say, except to live our lives well. I believe that people who care about revolution only become martyrs when it is necessary, otherwise they become so involved with their own ego and powerlessness that they become dictators, given the scale of their thinking. False prophets, Augusto Pinochet, Augustus Caesar, and Judas, there was never any different except for the size.
I believe five things very strongly in relation to kindness:
• It has to be primarily organized by all people of all faith.
• It has to be completely free and voluntary. No rewards. No punishments.
• It has to be very simple, and necessary.
• It has to include everyone.
• It has to expire naturally once the goal has been achieved.
There must be no sides. None. Kindness is an end to a means in the form of policy called revolution. If it is done well, collaboration will last between individuals long after the alliance has been helpful. However, the entire point of a revolution is to work within preexisting administrative structures to ascertain the level of need and public interest in any change, and then to collaborate for innovative solutions. If you call it idealism, I’m sorry but you are part of the problem.
I don’t believe in getting involved in something like this, given that I know my role is best suited to watch and listen after I have spoken because I don’t believe in escalating ideas greater than one person’s individual ego can allow. I would be on God’s side. I don’t believe in having my voice heard, so long as I can listen, and I would take a vow of silence if that meant something beautiful could happen.
People are not so different. If we have a common interest and want to see change, we have to allow it to happen. The most cynical people are the ones that had a beautiful life yet did not believe in it long enough to enjoy it well. We all take part in that burden. And to come in the same spirit of unity and kindness as Christ, we all must take part in its success.