How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Well, woodchucks can definitely chuck wood, if by chuck you mean eat.

Food and Feeding Behavior: Herbaceous plants proved the bulk of the diet of this herbivore which may consume up to 681 g (1.5 lb) of vegetation per day. Clovers, grasses, dandelions, goldenrods, asters, and where available, alfalfa; garden crops such as corn, lettuce, peas, and beans are some of the plants the wood chuck prefers. The buds and even the barks of some deciduous shrubs and trees are spring foods, while fruits, especially raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, cherries, and apples form a part of the summer diet. Animal foods, chiefly insects, make up less than one percent of the diet. Woodchucks forage early in the morning and late in the afternoon during the summer, but mid-day in spring and autumn. Fat reserves rather than food caches supply the energy needed to sustain a woodchuck through the winter.”


So, I’d say a woodchuck would eat as much wood at it took to sustain himself through winter. Which is something I think most of us can relate to right now, if we’re in the Northern Hemisphere. Also, Christmas eating and hibernation. If I am the person meant to judge that, I would eat no wood other than the wood fibers that I eat when I eat whatever else that is processed that I eat that contains them, and nothing else. Maybe cinnamon sticks? Does that count as wood, if it steeps in my tea? In Chile my mama Myriam would put sticks of cinnamon in Black tea and it warmed your bones when you had cold ocean mist. I told that to a lovely 90 year old at my hairdresser’s recently. She was nice. She just wanted somebody to talk to, and we ended up talking about Jesus and growing up and I got some free cookies that they always have there. Win win win, three because of Jesus. Also, the cookies. But I’ve gone to that hairdresser since I was a baby with the red ringlets, so I don’t care all that much, the cookies were free then too.

Well, I deem that as a woodchuck I should just eat a lot of dip and call it wood. (bhahahahhklaskfdlsjahhha)


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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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