Thank you, Papa. Let me write down the miracles before I forget them.
- I prayed this morning that your will be done, regardless of whatever happens with that boy, because I love him and I want the best for him.
- You sent a ridiculous stream of convictions in literally every speech.
- In one speech, you addressed his desire to become a doctor, even though he will end up a Pastor. He doesn’t want to be a doctor, Papa, he just wants to be able to support a family and heal. He needs to run into the flames to do that.
- In ______’s speech, he thanked me for encouraging him, among others, with words I spoke even though it was hard to be that vulnerable in the same room as the boy I love who is being an idiot. He stutters, and from what I could tell, encouragement and compassion helped heal that today, as did the resounding applause of our goofy classmates, who let their guards down completely.
- I gave my speech, “Teachers are People”. I was afraid to dress completely vulnerable, like a full-fledged elf, so I toned it down and kept it simple but genuine. I was able to have the strength to be completely transparent today in class, and it was good. If I would have said extra words I didn’t mean, or talked to fill space, or dresses as a real elf, not only would I not have any big guns to pull out for the kids at Church on Christmas Eve, but I probably would have cried.
- In another speech, which was not written at all except in the last minutes of class after _____’s speech with borrowed paper, my friend that I have gotten to know and who has struggled beautifully with great strength to acknowledge the passing of her grandfather, mental health in advocacy, and still enjoy her first semester of college, rose above all of it and explained that it is time to come to terms with reality and renounce childishness. I knew she could do it. The first speech, she ran out of the room and I helped fish her back so she could do her speech, because I know what it is like to cry in class and be ashamed. I am so very proud.
- I got to hug __________, our teacher. I tried to make it a group hug, that didn’t happen. But, I prayed that he know that we care and have peace going into a (seemingly) lonely Christmas. In another speech after mine, my lovely classmate gave a really creepy speech with a blown up poster of his head, and loads of information that was stalked off of Facebook. I laughed because I knew other people would if I did, and otherwise that would be suuuuuuper weird. But nah man, that shit was funny. And she ended it thanking him, because he truly is a fabulous, kind, and compassionate teacher. It was beautiful to see one of my classmates that I actually lived with on campus bust her gut laughing to that.
- I had my cross out. It was funny, because another classmate gave a speech about perseverance and using an allegory of an honest rose grower. The new emperor was stepping down, and due to his love of roses, he chose to appoint the next emperor through whoever could grow the best rose. Well, he gave each of the grower’s seeds. This grower was afraid. He had tried three times to grow a rose, but the seeds didn’t go. His father, a wise man, told him to take the empty pot (no “success”) and present it to the emperor. He did. Lo and behold, the emperor had cooked the seeds to unveil honesty and trustworthiness in the growers, many of which had beautiful, blooming roses that they could not have grown from parboiled beans. Thus, the new emperor was chosen, one who had “failed”.
- Another classmate gave a speech about a she-temptress. He literally almost screamed obscenities about his love life and literally smashed his hands on the table. Man, does that guy know art. It’s gorgeous. But, he decided to go hardcore, and it was fabulously funny. It was later revealed that he was talking about a piano, who he veiled in reptilian imagery. Lol. You do you, sir.
- One of my classmates gave a speech about deciding to return home across seas to finish his degree. I was a hard choice, but he did it with grace, kindness, and a lot of love for our University. It was humbling.
- Many of my classmates gave speeches to toast to their brothers or sister’s (imaginary or real) marriages. It was beautiful, and hilarious, given where I’ve been recently. One girl focused on pranking her sister (we all can relate) and how sisterly love is sweet and sour. Another focused on how she could have almost stopped the union, and would have without her sister’s new car getting totaled by smashing into a cow (Oh I lolled for days on that one). Another kind boy, who is someone I know to be a man of integrity, talked about how pink camo was a symbol of his brother’s union with his wife; pink because she’s prissy but kind, camo because his brother is basically a lumberjack.
- One of my favorite classmates cited me and the boy I like in a speech as his only examples for people who have encouraged him in his tenure in the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. I’ll let him give that speech because it was flawless, but he was very good about mentioning that my contribution to the topic (I dared him to write about that and lol, he chose to bahahahhah our class) was in the location department, which was named Cuyahoga Hills. Apparently ‘cuyahoga’ means hills. Hills hills. Who knew. I don’t remember that interaction except in hindsight, and damn, was that a ridiculous day.
- One of my lovely friends brought chocolate oreos J (and gave a hilarious speech about how they are her off brand go to, which was actually 99% about love).
- The boy that had seen me flirting with the boy I love in the kitchen and smiled was spot on, and gave a new year’s review of 2014 speech. It was funny, but given this year, it made me very sad. Oh well, such is life.
- One of my friends that breaks into hives every time she speaks gave a speech that was very well done about our basketball coach, and the green recycling advocacy she cares most about. The transition was seamless. You couldn’t even tell.
- The classmate I have that is just generally sweet gave a speech that was meaningful about the death of her social life, and enjoying life to the fullest once you realize it dies during finals week.
- At one point, I was perched like a bird on my chair, and someone said something about keeping your child like wonder, and I almost fell off I was laughing so hard on the inside. I had my feet on my friend’s desk and I was basically just living my life like YOLO and lol, that happened. I’m totally not surprised, though.
- My friend who I met at a leadership event on campus gave an ode to his organ donor that made me cry. It was right before my speech, and I left my tears on my face on purpose up until I spoke, but man, that was well done.
- Who else? I’m going through the rows in my head, but I still feel like I’m forgetting people. Really, it was all very beautiful. We had such a baller time. I really love that class, and there is no good reason except that I love the people and I can encourage them people public speaking is daunting as shit on a good day. It’s nice.
- There couldn’t have been more well timed “Oh duh” moments in terms of conviction. Thanks, Jesus.
- I walked out of that class with the peace I prayed for. It’s been a crazy semester, and at 4pm today, it will be over, come hell or high water. I’ve already checked my grades: I got the same grade on my final in Psychology as the very first exam, rounding me out to the B+ I was always anticipating. I will probably get a B in Biology (yolo whatever, I’m happy I finished), and if the rest goes well, who the fuck knows. But that is how it goes, and that was only yesterday. Lol.
- In regards to that boy, I loved him from the first class, and I left knowing that that hasn’t changed. That’s all I wanted: to know. I just had to pay attention and trust God. Funny how that works.
- This is not the movies. He did not follow me out. He thought about it. But honestly, he’s the kind of guy that takes his sweet time because he needs it, and that gives me peace because I am NOTHING LIKE THAT. It will be interesting how that turns out, is all I can say. When you know, you just know, okay?
- And I’m now I’m even more hella excited for church. Christmas Eve is still gonna be the bomb diggity; y’all don’t even know. Get pumped.
- Blessings on this finals week. If you’ve made it this far you can keep going.
See you on the other side,