On Peace, Awareness, and Wisdom

12/7/2014

I love to write. I always have. This morning after I got out of church, I had a lot of good things on my heart and very few demanding thoughts. I decided to write this list just now for my personal benefit, but looking at it, I’d like to share it as well. This is what I have been reflecting on gradually lately, and I hope it finds you well.

What does it mean to use my awareness, peace, and wisdom for the greatest good?

  • Sharing
    • Taking care of my needs so I have more to give
      • Time
      • Money
      • Passion
      • Love
      • Listening
      • (etc)
    • Having what I need so well established and also periodically organized and structured towards completing it so that I can be most readily available for what God asks me to do; putting him as my highest priority
    • Editing papers in coffee shops, being kind and giving freely because blessing others gives me the most joy of anything ever
  • Being aware that God has given me certain gifts to steward and actively finding ways to use them
  • Distancing from situations or people who diminish or try to manipulate the gifts God has given me for their own purpose
  • Not taking other people seeing God on me and becoming convicted (and lashing out more often than not) personally. Asking for the help I need very specifically so there is less room for confusion and fostering bad intentions.
  • Not sharing what doesn’t need shared/what God isn’t asking me to share. Trusting him that he will bring about the right timing for all things, as Ecclesiastes states. Knowing that my mistakes and equivocations aren’t bad, but his plan.
  • Finding ways to make myself as portable, useful, and able to contribute as possible. This includes technical training, training as an EMT eventually, Seminary (probably), learning to dance (hip hop, ballet, swing, etc.), learning how to sing and perform on stage, learning more about teaching and how to properly minister to children, becoming a better listener, not cursing ever again really, practicing patience (you are already patient), listening for cues from God in what he asks, in what others need, or in what I see; consulting his word as necessary (and more often; recognizing that I need it), not prefacing or apologizing for things that are unpleasant but his will, being kind.
  • Knowing my limits and listening to them, knowing that God will provide for my needs in the future that are much greater than the temptation to break them.
  • Being as nonjudgmental as possible for now until I die.
  • Owning what experiences God has given me and the power that they have to edify his church and people; or anyone who is seeking him.
  • Resisting shame in myself or fear and recognizing that he is in the peace. Doubt is the absence of that peace, stalling (equivocation about time), and any sort of hiding of the truth which is not specifically for his Kingdom mission (and thus, not my jurisdiction; I listen and obey only).
  • Knowing that Christ’s reputation is on the line for my behavior.
  • Caring enough to pay very close attention to timing and words. Tact isn’t common sense, tact that up-builds and strengthens is divine encouragement. Do not belittle it.
  • Allowing people to label my behavior, character, intentions, etc. as other than what they are in order to move forward.
  • Patiently defending myself and others in situations of mixed common interest or even oppressive behavior (abuse, racism, isms as a whole, bullying, harassment, etc.; the lack of God-given dignity and human rights).
  • Knowing that even if I cannot name what is going on, it is legitimate. Knowing that my intuition will lead me into many situations that will only clarify post hoc. Knowing that my individual efforts don’t matter whatsoever; letting Heaven on Earth be God’s gift and taking absolutely no credit for any of the fruits of my actions, which should be absolutely free. Jesus died for me. Therefore, I am his. Enough.
  • Knowing that the gifts that God encouraged in me were always there; not belittling the process and the emotions and turmoil that came with it at every step of the journey. Being humble and having faith into the rest of it, despite circumstances. Trusting in goodness without having any direct knowledge of what exactly that will look like as it arrives, but meeting the circumstances that are given to me with grace and humility.
  • Trusting that my life is a gift even when I am too blind to fully appreciate it.
  • Enjoying my life to the fullest; regardless of common expectations or beliefs. I can suffer judgment for the joy I love. It is enough; in fact, it is a blessing to the same people who judge me for it. I love them too. It’s fine.
  • Establishing daily, weekly, and monthly routines that, while flexible, can be shared and potentially made inclusive upon invitation. Celebrating as a whole in a way that gives glory to God, in whatever time frame.
  • Forgetting to think and trusting that it hardly matters. Knowing that I think most when I am in doubt, and I think least when I am secure.
  • Being open to criticism and trusting that it will come without me asking for it as it is necessary.
  • Trusting that God made the desires of my heart to be part of his process of guiding me, and not conflating them with his plan, nor discrediting their merit and value to it.
  • Laughing often, especially when it is hardest. Sharing that too.
  • Accepting what I do not enjoy and finding ways to enjoy what I love most more.

 

 

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Published by

haleylol

I am a teacher-to-be who loves people. I am not afraid of many things. I like to explain my thoughts logically on a very birds-eye view level--I was born thinking that way. I follow Jesus Christ, and I accept only that label to describe my identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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