The Women Scorned Network
Welcome to the in-flight viewing
Of the Women Scorned Network of Jerusalem.
To receive your member benefits
Simply swipe you slate card (the fig-leaf insignia next to the expiry date)
And begin to rest in comfort,
11,000 feet elevation
Above the earth
As much liquor as you can imagine
(Really, anything you can imagine.)
(We’ve got machines and tricks and fix-its for all of it)
From the entrance of the cabin
You can find your emergency flotation vest
In case you of spontaneous rejection from the vessel
Due to uncontainable happiness.
You should be able to figure it out
Without any set of written or pictorial diagrams
Once you hit the water.
If you, you are cordially invited to ask to be rescued by our Head of Staff,
Who is for his price in blood, will also teach you to walk on the same water you are wallowing in.
You never know if you don’t ask
So I suggest you do ask
We’ve got all the amenities.
If you can’t ask
And you won’t have to ask, we’ll help make up your mind for you.
Don’t forget to empty your soul of residual bitterness
We have a fresh stock of hand squeezed bitterness just waiting for your constant consumption
And you have the choice of limitless in flight drinks and refreshments
So that you can develop your palate.
Please let us know if you need anything,
The button will light up automatically without your aid,
And we’ll be over to greet you with fresh bitterness just as soon as it does.
Maybe Sunday if you’re lucky.
I hear God is resting then, so don’t you worry, we should have an extra unlimited stock for Sundays.
Don’t forget to go to church,
Don’t forget to say your prayers,
Don’t forget to do what Jesus would do,
We’ll be here whenever you need us.