How to become a rock

How to become a Rock

  1. Sit still.
  2. Get poked with sticks.
  3. Sit still.
  4. Get picked up and thrown around and
  5. Sit still.
  6. Don’t dance and don’t move and don’t speak and don’t smile and don’t listen and don’t respond to facebook messages or text messages and generally be really vague and don’t say what you mean because you aren’t speaking and rocks don’t speak like duuuuuhhhhhhhhh.
  7. Sit still.
  8. Go home to where you were hatched as a rock. Not sure if you were hatched by other rocks, but lol mkay I hope I get to find out how God makes rocks so maybe you could take me to where you hatched.
  10. Be dumb like a rock.
  11. Sit stilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
  13. *sigh*
  14. Be a rock.
  15. (Hatch into a human?)
  16. Be a rock.
  17. Be a rock.
  18. Be a rock.
  19. Be a stupid goddamn rock.
  22. Sit still.
  23. Be a rock.
  24. Do it again, like a rock.
  25. Visualize the rock. See the rock in your minds eye. Be the rock.
  26. Paint the rock. Be like your rock painting.
  27. Act like a rock. That shouldn’t be too hard.
  28. Write about rocks.
  29. Study different rocks, from one rock to another.
  30. Dance like a rock. (hint: this could be harder than you think)
  31. Dream about rocks. Cook with rocks (stone soup duh). Cook for rocks (your friends? Idk maybe I still don’t know how you hatched). Do magic for rocks. Give speeches for rocks. Be the rock.

This is about the extent of my knowledge about rocks. It isn’t that hard to know about rocks if you pay attention. That’s okay, they are rocks. They don’t change. And like a rock, they will be in the same place you left them (unless they hatch into a human any time soon).


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I am a teacher-to-be who loves people. I am not afraid of many things. I like to explain my thoughts logically on a very birds-eye view level--I was born thinking that way. I follow Jesus Christ, and I accept only that label to describe my identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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