Reasons why Marriage would be great from Haley @ 20

(PS: This list is for me to laugh at someday when I’m older. If you would like to laugh at it today, go right ahead, I hope to join you eventually.)

My name is Haley, and I’m pretty happy today. I think part of having a young soul is doing whatever the hell you want, which for me includes regular visits to swing sets, building sandcastles, making whatever kitchen disaster I want no matter if it’s great or like a seamonster was roasted alive, writing whatever I want as I want like I have always done, doing what other people ask when they need me to, and running around like a butterfly every other time because they need to do that too, they just don’t realize it yet.

I haven’t dated. I haven’t kissed anybody. I want to say right now that in this day and age, I deserve a god damn gold medal for that. But its okay, the gold medal is coming they tell me. Whatever. I’m too busy to care, and I really like doing hood rat things with my friends (youtube reference). I go through existential crises on the daily, mkay? It’s just part of it.

I love rollercoasters. Mostly because I laugh the entire time, it’s like I’m flying and everyone else screaming is delightful. Don’t ask me why. It just happens. I CAN’T AFFORD TO GO TO ROLLERCOASTER PARKS SO Y’ALL SHOULD TAKE ME WE’D HAVE A GREAT TIME. By y’all, I mean someone I’ve met in person and would tentatively trust not to murder me in cold blood. Nice try. 😉

But yeah, I like doing what I like to do and it’s all so great and it’s like a constant party. Because I’ve seen marriage go up in flames so many damn times I can’t count, I’m going to make a list of what marriage should be, because welcome to my life, I have no fucking clue. But it’s pretty great. And so, this is what I would like to have in marriage, because I’m 20 and I do all of this crap, and I think it’s a lot less funny than most people would like to belittle it. If y’all think I’m right, go ahead and share it; it’s free, it should fucking happen (gonna try to stop cussing again starting tomorrow maybe; whatever, go with it).

  1. We all know what sex is. That is a given.
  2. Silence and a lot of dumb body language that I shouldn’t have to translate.
  3. Making fun of awkward social situations in the same kind of language.
  4. Running away, with a permanent adventure buddy, and coming back to a place called home.
  5. Sleeping in when I’m not actually sleeping, I’m enjoying pretending to sleep. Get off my grill.
  6. Arguments are temporary.
  7. Making dumb playlists, photos, dances, art, and whatever the hell you want and sharing it frequently, to the point where the other person wants to reciprocate it because they love your art even when its garbage and hopefully they’ll tell you with a stupid face.
  8. Running outside in the rain. You don’t get to criticize that one. It’s gonna be fabulous and y’all can just leave, I swear.
  9. Sleeping outside in tents in the middle of the week.
  10. Making a lot of smoothies.
  11. All the journals as a library.
  12. A lot of good excuses for dumb things, and vice versa, and sifting through them together.
  13. Not giving a shit when people decide to make fun of what my spouse is doing, and making an effort to make peace with that person given how they are deciding to broadcast that information.
  14. Dancing while cooking dinner. I will legitimately not stay in any relationship unless that can happen, and I am so serious you can’t even imagine.
  15. Someone to dance with me when I’m at stoplights.
  16. Taking ugly pottery classes. Making ugly art. Together. Because that crap makes me laugh.
  17. Taking wedding photos like human beings and then having a spare roll of wedding photos that relies heavily on popular culture references, being creepy and weeeeeird, and then just generally being awesome. “Mix up” which ones you send out to friends and family, and then have half the wedding party beseriously annoyed.
  18. Okay but real talk, I believe in marriage. I believe in biblical marriage. And for that reason, I want to make my wedding free and open to the public. Free food. Free dancing. Free party. Let’s go. God is good, and I want the world to know that when I get married, because I certainly will.
  19. A lot of the gospel. Part of the reason I want to teach English is because I can do that anywhere, and I’d like to be anywhere, and God is everywhere. I don’t know what it takes to be a missionary, but I’d totally do that.
  20. Starting over. Stamina. Acceptance. Faith. Endurance.
  21. I love children so much. I would adopt before I had no kids. If it was God’s will, I’d even do it single. I love children. I think it’s dumb to talk about how many children any one person would want, but idk that’s part of all that nonsense anyways.
  22. Not regretting the terrible crap, especially when it’s not shared.
  23. Not holding grudges.
  24. A lot of hand holding. Like, into old age. I know what I want and I want that.
  25. Regularly making fun of my spouse in a way he will appreciate. You don’t like the way I make waffles? I will prank you in ways you won’t be able to anticipate. If anyone was good at dishing it out and not taking it, it would be. Get excited; hope you like waffles in a burrito…
  26. Confidence that my feelings don’t change even when I’m scared they will. That will happen. Expect it.
  27. Forgetting your self-control sometimes or rather, willfully abandoning it.
  28. Shutting the hell up and listening when I have important things to tell you. Knowing when you are being an idiot and negotiating that truth with care, caution, and tact that I don’t have.
  29. All of the romantic shit I didn’t want. All of it.



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I am a teacher-to-be who loves people. I am not afraid of many things. I like to explain my thoughts logically on a very birds-eye view level--I was born thinking that way. I follow Jesus Christ, and I accept only that label to describe my identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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