Flying away


Just “Friend”,

I have been told my entire life, if only vaguely, to “fly”. I never knew what that meant, but I have discovered recently that the best part about things that fly is that they fly away. They don’t sit still. They don’t always have patience. And they love to be free.

I may have given you the impression that I care very much about you. That isn’t true. I love you. And I love a lot of different people for exactly who they are. And I’m not sure how hard it will be to fall in love again, but I don’t care to worry about it.

When I told you I had cried over this, did those tears were like a magical dragon, impervious to pain? No, those are the tears of 20 year old heartbreak and moving on. Did you think they were easy? Hell no, I cry only when I absolutely need to; you know that. Did you interpret them as a gift, and yet, feel no need to reciprocate?

I am ashamed today, because you are a coward, and I love a coward.

I will continue to fly.

And I will forever be happy, regardless of your attitude and stalling and general wasting my time.

Because guess what? I will fly, and fly away, and it will never have mattered.

You already know this, but I am a transparent, friendly, kind person who really loves other people. I have too many people’s feelings to not hurt without you trying to break my heart, and I do my best to make sure everyone knows my intentions, because I love them enough to not want there to be any unnecessary heartache. I can’t control for everything, but I do care.

There is no shortage of eyes, no shortage of places to fly to, people to fly with. I’ll find the company you aren’t. I’ll forget. I’ll probably even laugh about it, sometime soon, hopefully.

But I will fly away, and apparently, it won’t even matter.

Don’t pursue me if you’re just going to let me slip away. I have places to go; alone if necessary. They will be beautiful, regardless of the company.

I am not afraid; I am the consistent one.

And as consistent as the wind,

I’ll be gone.


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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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