A short critique of the Notebook (so I can finish my finals projects)

This is going to be a five minute critique, because I don’t have the time or patience I have deadlines within the end of the day that are legitimately necessary to work towards.

I thought about writing this in Spanish, out of spite. I decided to not be an asshole.

Anyways, the Notebook. There are many things that the Notebook is fabulous for. It it’s romantic. It is a movie. It is a romantic movie, and it has an adorable ending, even if it is rather scary. It has Ryan Gosling, which the entire female world (myself included) thinks is a sexy dude, and there are websites and countless printed articles to that effect (just google “Ryan Gosling”, I dare you).

The female lead is great, but ironically, I can’t remember her name. She is one of my favorite actors, but all the credit in my mind and everyone else’s goes to Gosling.

I kind of pity her character (in the movie). She is doing her absolute best to move a guy that is much more like a rock. She is impatient. He is impatient. They are both stubborn. The whole kissing in the rain bit. Some happy years, and then fucking dementia. Are you serious??

Hold the hell on. I know that every girl in the world that is as dramatic and impatient as Ms. Female Lead thinks the rain and the rowing in the boat and basically anything else under the sun that involves screaming in public and generally losing your mind is good for movies and would maybe be excellent in real life, but let’s just stop for a second.

She was really miserable in that movie. She tried to marry another guy. Ryan Gosling had anger issues, and stalled until the point where she straight up left and then they somehow resolved all of it by kissing in the rain. Lol.

I am not really in a place where I feel like discussing my personal life right this moment, but I have a few words to say about the kind of impatient and stubborn and dramatic kind of girl that Ms. Female Lead must be, if she is anything like me.

  1. She probably has pretty low self-confidence if she is going to skip to the kissing part before they have the conversations she so clearly needs.
  2. She was probably miserable for 99% of the real life version of that movie; not the dementia part, because who knows. But the part that she is young, reckless, impatient, stubborn, and in love with a rock. It’s a shitty place.
  3. If you watch the Notebook like it’s a movie, that’s one thing. But real life people need real life romance, and that is a lot more like shared silence to me and probably to Ms. Female Lead, because after a bunch of drama, impatience, and crazy, real life romance is a lot more like watching a dumb movie like the Notebook and saying absolutely nothing.
  4. Some girls don’t need romance. Some girls are able to appreciate it. Some girls will straight up leave your ass if they aren’t sure about where you are at, not because they want to, but because they are like Ms. Female Lead, and that is just what happens when you stall. Sorry to break it to you, but from what I can tell, Ms. Female Lead is about 90+ minutes worth of legitimately patient. If she isn’t patient, who the fuck is?

It’s been five minutes. Gonna do my paper now. Romance isn’t bought, filmed, or usually documented. And that is all I felt like saying.


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I am a teacher-to-be who loves people. I am not afraid of many things. I like to explain my thoughts logically on a very birds-eye view level--I was born thinking that way. I follow Jesus Christ, and I accept only that label to describe my identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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