The Theology of Gay Marriage, According to Me

Dear Fellow Christians,

Most of you are not going to like what I have to say right now, but I’m not the only person you don’t like, so as far as I’m concerned, that isn’t my problem.

When we say the word “Christian”, most of us mean “Follower of Christ”. Some of us mean “Middle Class Follower of Christ”. Some of us mean “Follower of Christ of Color”. Some of us mean “Follower of Christ that drinks a lot of coffee”.  Some of us mean “Follower of Christ, who brings me presents”. Some of us mean “Follower of the ______ Church”. And some of us don’t really mean much of anything.

Let me get real with you for one second, because you can tune out of what I’m saying at any time you choose, like I said, it’s just my opinion. But if you mean “Follower of Christ” when you say “Christian”, then you mean one who follows the Christ, as in, Follower of the Messiah. If you recognize Jesus’ Hebrew roots, you realize that the Messiah is a big freaking deal, and if you are Christian, you believe that he is meant to save the whole world from original sin that we are all born with, which makes us continuously break things more and more, because the world is broken. The kindergarten maxim “That’s not fair!” has never been so true as it was in kindergarten, when we first realized it. It’s the truth.

And if you believe that we are all broken in a broken world, I seriously cannot understand how you justify belittling people on the LGBTQIA spectrum. I believe in Christ, and I believe in the bible, which says that he came for us all, and that you can’t win his love, it is grace, and it doesn’t stop (1 Corinthians).

You may not intend to judge gay people, I believe you. But if you think that there is some great difference between being a Christian hypocrite, and a non-Christian hypocrite, I’m sorry but there isn’t. We all fail. We all die. We all get our hearts broken. We all can be trapped inside our own hearts, or outside of them, because the world is full of shit like addiction, and sexual slavery, and mass extinction, and genocide, and death of children, and poverty, and starvation, and mental health struggles, and suicide, and homelessness, and eating disorders, and a bunch of crap that I have seen because I look, and no other reason.

If you believe in Jesus, then you believe he loves us all the same. You believe that he intervenes for you when you deserve nothing but your own miserable failure, and you know what? That’s pretty great. You believe that there is nothing else that you need to do or can do to make him love you and more or less, and you believe his love is the greatest, because it was here while it was still a timeless void (#Genesis).

For the literal Love of God, it’s okay to be broken. It’s not okay to be less broken, because you can’t be less broken, because being less broken isn’t a thing. Misery likes company sure, but with the more company you have, it’s a lot easier to not be miserable. So let’s just stop for a second. If I know that God loves me equally and greater than I love everyone else, and I know that they love me less and equally to how I love others, and I believe that Christians love me less than God…then should they also love me greater than they love others??

I know I just made it super confusing, but the point is, it’s okay. God loves you. He loves them. If it was super important to explode about constantly, he would make it waaaaaaaay more obvious, and you wouldn’t have to guess about whether or not he hated gay people, because they probably would have been smit a long time ago (a little joke, but the point is he can do whatever he wants). Please don’t get up in my grill when I look at you like you’ve lost your mind for judging the gay people. If they can look at you like you’re crazy, and I can look at you like your crazy, and Jesus put his Holy Spirit in all of us to help us detect when we are being crazy, maybe you should rethink that.

But then again, this is only my opinion. If you want to know the scriptural support of what I believe and where I have seen him support those things, ask me. I’d be glad to share. But for the love of us all, please stop. It’s okay. He loves us.




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I am a second-grade teacher and pastor-to-be who loves people. I spend my weekends with friends or wandering the museums of DC alone and with a journal, trying to put words on the places of the soul that still feel wordless. I spent most of my days at school trying to learn patience through my students and running on sheer nerdy passion. I follow Jesus Christ, and savor that as my most important identity--that I am a child of God, as are infinite others, regardless of their other identities. Christ is my one thing.

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