Happy 12:40pm, WordPress.
This morning, I decided to become a public school teacher minutes before I received back the first test I’ve ever failed in college. I explained to my teacher, while almost crying that I had done my absolute best, that I was upset because there was no possible way for me to have done any better given being sick for six weeks, naturally learning in a way that has been belittled and disrespected since grade school, and generally the poor design of education: higher education, public education, and how people judge other’s based on their performance as a whole. My teacher had written on my test that she hoped I could come in to office hours, despite forgetting that I have tried since the beginning of the semester to come in, despite having classes at the same time and the fact that she has generally been rather judgmental of my feedback in class. She began to tell me that I should see a specialist when I said that this was no new thing and that I was working towards becoming more conscious of it in every area of my life. I cut her off, and said almost crying that the US education system is broken, and I was never my fault or any defect with the beauty of how I think that broke it.
This is the price of an unjust education system. This is wounds it leaves, these are the scars it conceals in the name of common interest, which is no one’s interests for limiting the beauty of learning. I love teaching, I love other people, and I have a thick skin, so I will become a Teacher. It’s too bad that it took me until I was a junior in college to realize that I am not willing to tolerate anyone else insulting my mind or my gifts, but I am glad that God’s grace erases any difference between bad actions from broken love and the scars that it leaves.
As of now, I want to be a 6-12 teacher, in either English or Social Studies. I want to teach children who people have lied to and wounded, and that is a broad definition in my book. If children can believe in goodness and grace, there is no excuse for anyone else not to, and I believe that we all know kindness and love by its fruits, regardless of whether or not we agree why. I would appreciate kindness and respect in this decision, because for the sake of others, I will tolerate no less. I respect each person’s opinion, but not all are good for the people that hold them, and the people they influence.
Happy Monday, WordPress. May it be the first of many happier Mondays, and may grace be worth it.